I started to feel a bit wonky and I fell off the proverbial wagon and have ended up spending the past few weeks eating anything I wanted. My weight went up about 7 pounds but I'm maintaining at that weight despite eating "normal".
Yesterday I had an appointment with a new Dr. because I haven't been happy with my previous Dr. This new one was rec'd by a co-worker and she (my first female Dr!) really got onto me about my weight and in some ways made me feel a bit insulted but I took it in stride because I think she was seeing the whole picture whereas I try to see parts of the whole. If I try to see the whole thing I get too overwhelmed and end up doing nothing. For example, she wants me to start walking every day for at least 30 minutes and that is just blegh but I take the stairs in the parking garage and have gotten to parking on the 4th floor most days. It's a small thing for me but I'm happy with my progress. 30 minutes of walking a day is a huge deal for me - not to mention horribly boring! I respect her advice but am not real sure how I'll manage to accomplish it.
That said, I had a regular female exam and afterwards she expressed some concerns and today I'm going for an ultrasound to see if I may have PCOS. It's one of those things that I don't WANT to have it, yet at the same time I do because I want to have a reason for the way I feel. I want to know that my losing large amounts of hair, bad periods, and general emotional rollercoasters that I've been on HAVE a reason. I don't want that to all just be in my head, you know?
She said that if I do indeed have PCOS and I am exhibiting a lot of the signs that she would want to put me on Metformin (aka Glucophage) because it's likely that I have insulin resistance and that will help. It's interesting how all this stuff is related. I'd never heard of taking insulin medications for PCOS so I ran straight to the computer and started to research it a bit more.
I feel like I'm on the right track with low-carb and if I do indeed have PCOS then it may also explain why low carb feels better to my body. The medication could also help me lose weight but I don't really have a huge time losing weight when I pay attention so that would just be a plus if it were to happen.
Update: 11/9/2006
Yesterday I had the ultrasound to determine if I do indeed have any cysts around my ovaries. I must admit that I never thought I'd have an ultrasound when I wasn't pregnant. I guess I never thought that they were used for anything other than baby related things.
Anyway, that was a big strange and I left with no more answers than I had before. I realize that the person doing the ultrasound may not be the person who interprets the results but at the same time you'd think they'd give you a little hint of "yeah I see something there". Instead I have to wait until my Dr. gets back to me and that could be next week at the earliest.
Oh well. I've been dealing with this long enough, it's not like a week or even more is going to make any difference. I just wish that I knew. I hate saying that I *want* to have PCOS but at the same time it's an answer which has a solution, and I'd take that any day over not knowing.
As for the ultrasound .. yeah .. the external one wasn't bad but the vaginal was just off the charts weird. It's completely graceless.
In some ways I feel a bit stressed by all this but at the same time I feel a sense of relief. I've been very tired this week, moreso than normal and have been getting 9-10 hours of sleep a night. I wake up tired too, even after all that sleep. One of my co-workers has insomnia and doesn't sleep much at all. I don't envy her but sometimes being able to sleep 10 hours a stretch and still being tired isn't any better. I sleep soundly and don't wake at all during the night but I have to wonder about the quality of my sleep if I'm still tired. I keep thinking I should get a new bed ...
Well, I've got to say this Dr. truly is on top of things! I just got a call from her and she told me the results of blood tests and ultrasound.
She said my blood looked good, nothing strange about it. My ultrasound did show one small cyst on my left ovary which looks like it has blood in it(?) and she wasn't concerned about it right now. I'll go back in 6 weeks for another ultrasound since she believes it could disappear on its own - she wants to see if it's still there or if it has by chance multiplied.
But, she said that my symptoms were consistent with PCOS and despite not having cysts she is still going to put me on Metformin.
Phew. I feel about 100lbs lighter.
For so long I've tried everything under the sun to feel better, lose weight, etc, and I'm tired, quite honestly, of trying. I want to see the progress and not spend all my time spinning my wheels. I think that this diagnosis is the first step in gaining traction.
I guess I wasn't ready to give up because that was the point I was at .. put out or get out and quit whining.
I'm back on the low-carb track and while I'm still aiming to lose weight I'im also wanting to feel better. I've been doing really super strict low-carb (under 20gms/day) but I need to learn a way to be more flexible. I tend to be such an all or nothing person that I either do low/no carb or I eat full out and I have to find a way to compromise so that it doesn't take me over.
As for exercise, my Dr. got onto me about that and said I needed to walk at least 30 min. a day but I don't like walking so much so I'm going to start back up on the Pilates workouts. As I said earlier, I'm such an all or nothing person that I can't easily focus on exercising AND eating well. I tend to exercise and eat badly, or eat well and not exercise. Grr!
I just have to remember that each day is fresh, with no mistakes in it - each day is a fresh start so I need to make the most of each day and not worry about tomorrow, just focus on the here and now.
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