The Doctor is In

The past couple days have been good. My breakfast and dinner have been healthy and I'm having whatever is at work for lunch. I feel that's a good middle ground.

I had a Doctors appointment today, it's been 6 months since I started taking the Metformin for PCOS. The nurse gave me some congrats for the 25lbs I've gotten rid of and that felt good.

The Doctor however .. is much harder to please. She basically told me that while it was good I did lose 25lbs but it wasn't good enough. While it was good that I was doing walking and yoga, it wasn't good enough. While it was good that I was eating more healthy, it wasn't good enough.

I really felt frustrated by this. I believe what I'm doing is great and yeah, maybe it's different than what you think should work for me but I'm happy with my choices and growing healthier every day. A co-worker said she'd probably find another Doctor if she said that to her and on one hand I can see why someone might but on the other hand, it's OK with me because I know I'm doing just fine.

I want to do this with the end in mind, not just today. I want to know that my efforts today are going to make me healthier for my life not just till the weight is gone. So many programs focus solely on getting the weight off and I really don't agree with that. I need to work on building a future with a solid foundation. You can't build a house without a foundation -- if you did, how could you expect it to stay upright for life?

I disagree with my Dr. I am doing good and I am going to succeed. She may not think it's good enough but I do. I actually feel like eating better and exercising and it's not for some asinine "buy into this program" reason but a genuine interest in my health.

I'll succeed and I will get all this weight off but it's on my body's timetable -- not mine.

So there. :p

Update: 6/28/2007

On one hand, I am upset about what the Doctor said but on the other, I've had the gentle type too and that didn't do me any good either.

I'm tossed on whether or not she believes in tough love or just doesn't care. I'm inclined to believe that she has a poor bedside manner and just doesn't understand the emotional aspect of being this large.

A lot of women would curl up and give up after being treated that way and yet there are some who will fight to prove her wrong. I think I'm one of the latter types. I want to do it my way and be successful and I know I'll do it. But I'm not all women, I've gone through a lot to get where I am and if you'd asked me 6 months ago I probably WOULDN'T be in this position.

If I were to change I think it'd be a bit like throwing out the baby with the bath water. She did pay a lot of attention to me and understand when I came to her with my issues and got the diagnosis of PCOS, so that's a huge plus. She is very intelligent but again, bedside manner is lacking. If I were less tough it might be harder to take but I think I'll stick with it. I don't hold any allusions about her, it's also entirely possible she was having a bad day.

I've discovered that I like taking yoga classes at work. I didn't think I'd feel comfortable taking classes with other people around but it's really not bad at all! I'm there for me and my needs, not to keep an eye on everyone else.

I'm going to take a pilates mat class at a local studio as a trial and see if I like the teacher. I may start taking some yoga and pilates classes at this studio. I'm really surprised that I like taking classes like this .. really surprised.